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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Joke of the Day

Posted on September 27, 2016September 29, 2016

Donald Trump didn't look Presidential last night. He looked like he refused to believe his credit card kept coming back declined.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2016

Posted on September 26, 2016September 29, 2016

I can't stop laughing. The Republicans nominated an unqualified, unhinged sociopath and, wouldn't you know, that's who showed up tonight.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 27, 2016

Posted on September 25, 2016September 26, 2016

Hillary has to debate Trump while fact-checking him. Can you imagine it? A woman having to work twice as hard as a man for the same position

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 25, 2016

Posted on September 24, 2016

1am: Time for bed
2am: Just a few more tweets
3am: SIRI is toying with me
4am: Two hours will suffice
5am: The birds can hear my thoughts

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 24, 2016

Posted on September 23, 2016September 24, 2016

ME: Time to go to sleep!
BRAIN: Yes, as soon as we hypothesize every worry that is out of your control but could conceivably come true

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 23, 2016

Posted on September 22, 2016September 24, 2016

I don't get why people hate small talk so much. Do you really want Darryl from IT coming up and asking, "What's eating you away today?"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 22, 2016

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