Skip to content

Sam Grittner.COM

Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video

Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on December 29, 2013February 17, 2014

Next year I'm going to be the best me I promised me I would be eight years ago.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2013

Posted on December 27, 2013February 17, 2014

"We found Waldo"
"That's great! Where is he?"
"Denver"
"Fucking Denver"
"I know. The whole time we're looking in books and he's in Denver"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 28, 2013

Posted on December 26, 2013

If you didn't get what you wanted yesterday, just remember: it's because an old, white man judged you as evil and that's how life works.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 26, 2013

Posted on December 25, 2013December 26, 2013

"I'm liking them but I'm not responding to every one." Jesus, looking at his FB wall

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 25, 2013

Posted on December 24, 2013December 26, 2013

Michael Cera is starving but his mother is gone at the store. She comes back 4 hours later to see him holding a can of soup towards the sun.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 24, 2013

Posted on December 23, 2013December 26, 2013

If you pour coconut water on kale, you just planted a white girl.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 23, 2013

Posts navigation

Previous page Page 1 … Page 230 Page 231 Page 232 … Page 266 Next page

Archives

  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress