If you're over 30 and use Snapchat you should be ashamed and disappointed in yourself, you disgusting loser. Please add me.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 7, 2016
Warning: Flying doors will push you into another dimension pic.twitter.com/ul5LsQCgOU
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 6, 2016
I want fireworks in the sheets, bald eagles in the streets.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2016
I'm old enough to remember before Instagram when you had literally no way of knowing if someone had eaten that day
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 30, 2016
I have great taste in horrible choices.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 28, 2016
Apparently I've been using umbrellas wrong for over three decades pic.twitter.com/2H4sGHvsdf
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 27, 2016