*job interview*
"So, tell me just a little about you."
"I'm applying for a job."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 29, 2015
Maybe she was born with it, maybe they weaponized her and that’s why she has a tank for an arm.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 24, 2015
*uses donut frosting as war paint*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 21, 2015
How long am I legally allowed to scream at nothing?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 21, 2015
Vin Diesel's full name is Vindustrial Revolution Diesel.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 17, 2015
*joe biden crashes through the ceiling while drinking tequila out of a boot on a jet ski, accidentally crushing lincoln chafee to death*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 14, 2015