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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posts

Posted on February 10, 2017February 11, 2017

So, to be clear: the ban that wasn't a ban until it was a ban was banned and all attempts to ban the ban of the ban have been disbanded.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 10, 2017

Posted on February 9, 2017February 10, 2017

Betsy DeVos desperately trying to hire Clippy as her personal assistant.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 9, 2017

Posted on February 8, 2017February 9, 2017

6 STAGES OF DEPRESSION:
1) Morning news
2) Lethargy
3) Breaking news
4) Loss of appetite
5) Press conference
6) Checking Twitter before bed

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 8, 2017

Posted on February 7, 2017February 8, 2017

FUTURE MATH TEACHER: "Who can tell me the circumference of Christ's love?"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 7, 2017

Posted on February 6, 2017February 8, 2017

With each passing day I grow increasingly grateful that in my youth my public thoughts were confined to AOL chat rooms.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 6, 2017

Posted on February 5, 2017February 8, 2017

I guess getting that Falcons tattoo to cover my "I'm With Her" tat was a little premature.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 6, 2017

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