"Imagine if Kanye replaced his ego with more talent and if you could understand Jaden Smith when he talked." -me explaining Prince to kids
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 22, 2016
Do I think Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer? No. Do I believe with all my heart he chokes hitchhikers to death with a rosary? Of course I do.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 20, 2016
I'm not above dying in a corn maze out of spite.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 1, 2016
I want a functioning jukebox in place of a headstone.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 30, 2016
When I die I'm donating my body to science but only if they promise to use it as a piñata.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 26, 2016
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/711742308098699264