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Tag: Joke of the Day

Posted on March 25, 2018March 30, 2018

If you had told me on the day Trump was elected that not even two years into his Presidency he’d be embroiled in a sex scandal with a porn star who knows how to outmaneuver him I would’ve looked you square in the eyes and said, “That sounds about right.”

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 25, 2018

Posted on March 24, 2018March 25, 2018

The government isn’t going to take your fucking guns. It’s going to take your kids, arm them, and send them to die in WWIII because our President’s daddy didn’t love him.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 24, 2018

Posted on March 23, 2018March 25, 2018

John Bolton looks like the world's most enraged model train enthusiast

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 23, 2018

Posted on March 22, 2018March 25, 2018

I’m just too lazy to commit murder. Who has the time to get rid of a body, come up with an alibi, and dispose of the weapon? I’d spend three weeks on Amazon picking out the rug to roll them up in, then when it came, decide it fits the room perfectly and have to order another one.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 22, 2018

Posted on March 21, 2018March 25, 2018

"When Lee Harvey Oswald Wasn't Killing The President He Was Killing It On The Dance Floor" pic.twitter.com/4dq9vMP5Td

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 21, 2018

Posted on March 20, 2018March 21, 2018

Finally watched "The Godfather" based on this poster. There were ZERO marionettes. If you have a passion for puppetry, this is not the movie for you. pic.twitter.com/7THFHjpdfL

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 20, 2018

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