If you're going to a party tonight, be G.O.T.H.:
Gracious
Outgoing
Thoughtful
Hailing Satan with a fresh sacrifice every time the moon peaks— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 31, 2016
My response to any question you ever ask me pic.twitter.com/hKKF076jt5
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 30, 2016
*takes Cold War out of freezer*
*pre-heats oven*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2016
Blaming death on a year is utterly ludicrous. I blame Trump.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2016
Death is clearly only taking the people it wants to hang out with.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 27, 2016
5 days left in 2016. Still plenty of time for: animal rebellion, nuclear war, zombie apocalypse, exploding babies, new Smash Mouth single.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 26, 2016